Rampage (Movie)

Of all the games that you could make a movie of, why in the name of FUCK would you make a movie out of Rampage?!  I mean look at it.

It was a fairly simple arcade game released in 1986 where you controlled one of three large creatures as you punched buildings until they fell down for points.  How the fuck do you make a movie out of THAT?

Well they did it by hiring The Rock and having him be best friends with a CG gorilla that he communicates with via sign language because they were ripping off Jurassic World.  The movie starts with Evil Corp having an experiment they were conducting in space go wrong and the containers of evil juice they were working on drop to earth.  A wolf, crocodile and of course, The Rocks gorilla get a face full of the evil juice and turn into giant...RAMPAGING....monsters (eh! EH!?!).  The monsters get mind controlled by evil corp to come into town and start smashing it up but because the rock is best buddies with the gorilla he talks him down and together they kill the wolf and the crocodile and save the day (oh yeah, spoilers).

It's not so much that the movie is bad, because when the source material you're working with is so basic it's hard to fuck it up, but it's just PAINFULLY pointless.  Almost every big action movie released in the last 10 years, action movies better than this, have bits in it where buildings get smashed.  Only difference between those movies and this is the incredibly stupid relationship between The Rock and his gorilla so if you're life long dream was to see The Rock get flipped off by a CG ape then this movie was clearly made for you.


It's not bad enough to laugh at or be angered by like House of the Dead or Bloodrain but it's also not good enough to warrant a real watch either.  If you REALLY want to see it then wait until you can find it in a Tesco's bargain bin for £1 but until then just play the game instead.