Subscription ROM Services are Dumb

 

Yesterday I caught some news that Sony is joining Nintendo in giant game companies providing ROMS via a subscription service and it's pretty darn stupid to say the least.

On the surface it sounds like it could be a good idea.  The idea is that you pay a every month to get access to a collection of back-catalogue games from the companies previous systems to play as much as you want, good deal right?  Well no.  The initial problem with all this stuff is that you're only getting a very small amount of the back catalogue and usually only the best sellers.  This means that any hidden gems or good games that were less popular just get ignored and fall to the wayside which means that despite these services if there's an obscure game you really love you'll probably never get to play it on your modern hardware no matter how much of your hard earned money you give them.  If Shadow Hearts, for example ever turns up on PSN premium I will literally eat an entire shoe store

Money is the other problem because these companies are essentially ripping you off at every turn.  Nintendo released the expansion to Switch Online where you have to pay fifty bucks a month for a smattering of N64 games.  What's worse is that a lot of these games aren't very well presented with the Switch version of Ocarina of Time being somewhat famous for how shit it was compared to regular emulation on PC.  I've heard it has since become a bit better but the fact it was released in the condition that it was in for that price point AT ALL is really stupid.  Sony are even worse wanting $120 per year just for the ability to play some of the PS1/2/3s best sellers which is INSANE to me.  Maybe if it was a one time payment of 120 to play all those games forever, sort of like a giant greatest hits collection, then I wouldn't be moaning but these payments have to be constant.  If you stop playing for Switch online, no more SNES for you.  Stop paying for PSN Premium? Kiss your games goodbye until you cough up more cash.

All of this, when emulation exists which can be done for free and usually at a higher quality than anything Sony or Nintendo will give you.  Now I'm not going to argue the legality of emulation.  If you download some SNES ROMS or some PS2 ISOs and Nintendo or Sony come after you, they are well within their legal rights to do so but just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right.  

Let's think about Emulation for a second, who is it hurting?  For this example let's take someone downloading an ISO of Shadow Hearts on the PS2.  You could argue that they should be paying money to play it to support Sony or the developer, Sacnoth.  Well that argument doesn't stand because 1) Sacnoth ain't around no more, 2) The game isn't being sold anywhere no more and 3) The game isn't avaliable on the back catalogue subscription service.  "So go and buy a disc copy instead of pirating then!" I hear you cry through a wave of drool.  

Shadow Hearts on disc is about $130-300 depending on where you buy it.  Now let's say you go this route, where does that money go?  Does it go to Sony to support their production of future games?  No it doesn't.  Does it go to Sacnoth or their parent company Aruze to maybe fund another Shadow Hearts game?  No it doesn't.  So where does the money go then?  It goes to some fat, middle aged neckbeard who hasn't showered in 2 weeks so he can go scoop up more retro games from garage sales and used book stores to over price in online marketplaces.  I know it feels "morally correct" to buy a disc version of a retro game but you're supporting an absolutely disgusting marketplace that's really bad for players.

So tell these subscriptions to go fuck themselves and go fire yourself up and emulator.  I'm sure the multi-billion dollar corporations won't go under because you decided to fire up Yakiniku Bugyou on ePSXe, you don't need to worry your damaged little brain about it

My Top 3 Games of Heisei

If you're a piece of weaboo trash like me then you'll know that on May 1st the era of Heisei is coming to an end and it will change to Reiwa.  If you aren't a piece of weaboo trash and don't know what that is the name of the era in Japan changes when the emperor changes.  This effects the Japanese calendar so right now the year is Heisei 31 but as of May 1st the date will change to Reiwa 1.

I saw a tweet that said that Japanese gaming magazine, Famitsu, asked 7000 people what their top 3 games of the Heisei period were.  Heisei started in 1989 so that's a huge pool of games to choose from.  The top 3 for them was Chrono Trigger, Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Nier: Automata.  So of course like the self important little shit that I am, I'm going to tell you my top 3 games of the Heisei period.

#3 Hotline Miami

This entry could have been one of so many things.  It could have been Undertale, it could have been ANY Shin Megami Tensei game, it could have been Dragon Quest 11.  Ask me tomorrow what my number 3 would have been and I promise you it will change, I just can't really pick with great certainty.  The game that sticks out in the front of my mind right now though is Hotline Miami.  Released in 2012 (Heisei 24) it was a violent, retro style half action half puzzle game that had you don an animal mask and mow down men in white suits.  It was fast, frantic, fun as hell and became one of my core speedrun games for a long while

If you've not played it then please give it ago.  Great gameplay, great soundtrack and great style.  It's cheap on Steam so don't dilly dally, go buy it NOW

#2 Shadow Hearts

Shadow Hearts is a sort of unique JRPG released in 2001 (Heisei 13) on PS2.  It follows the adventures of half Japanese, half Russian protagonist Yuri Hyuga as he travels across Asia and Europe in an attempt to stop all manner of nightmare creatures and an English gentleman from doing all manner of unspeakable things.  The games most interesting point was its "Judgement Ring" battle system, every time you did ANYTHING in a fight you had to play a sort of little timing mini game that would decide the outcome of your action.  Miss the ring and you'd fail your attempt but get right near the edge of the hit zone and you'd be awarded bonus damage/healing or, lets say if you were using a stat-up item, a greater increase to that stat.  The game also had a sanity system where if your characters fought for too long the stress of battle would cause them to go berserk and you would lose control of them.

Yuri also had an ability to fuse into one of about 21 demons to aid you in battle, all with really cool abilities.  If you REALLY knew what you were doing you could get some secret demons too that would essentially break the game and make you an unstoppable power house.  Getting them was a challenge but when you pulled it off the reward was very much worth it.

It also has a sequel, Shadow Hearts 2: Covenant which is also worth playing but nothing quite beats the charm that the first game had.

#1 Panzer Dragoon Saga 

I mean, I gush about this game a lot, did you really think it could be anything else for me?  Released in 1998 (Heisei 10) for the Sega Saturn, Panzer Dragoon Saga is easily one of the best RPGs I've ever played in my damn life and almost nothing has come close to besting it.

I could go at LONG length about why this game is so good but instead I'll just link my playthrough of it and you can see it for yourself

I'm also learning how to speedrun it currently so drop in the stream to see my progress with that.

If you can play it for yourself you ABSOLUTELY should.  Don't question me, just do it.

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Of course, 1989 to 2019 is an extremely long time so I'm sure almost everybody will have a different set of 3 games that mean a lot to them.  If you feel like telling me your top 3 then let me know, maybe you'll really love something that I've not heard of and I can find a hidden gem that I missed during my youth

Sexism in Games: An Argument that Should Fuck Off

DISCLAIMER! I'm not suggesting by the title that it doesn't exist or should not be talked about, there is a decent issue to discuss here, but my problem lies with the way in which people discuss it.

So with that shit out of the way, let's get down to it.  I hate this fucking topic too, you go on any website that has an article about sexism in games and the arguments are all the fucking same, claiming this that and the other is all super bad and horrible for women and no one gets any respect etc. etc.

At the end of the day, it's all a load of fucking toss anyway, people are getting mad at all sorts of stupid shit like how a character looks as opposed to anything else.  Sure, this is a multi faceted debate, but to keep this blog post from becoming an essay, the depiction of women in games is what I'll be focusing on.

First of all, I'll make a blanket statement about the whole damn issue, SEX FUCKING SELLS, DEAL WITH IT!  Almost every industry that is trying to sell something will use sex appeal to push goods.  Music, movies, games, fucking shaving razors, perfume and cologne are all fucking guilty of this shit, it's not sexism it's just people like to see a sexy woman or a sexy man doing sexy things, we're programmed as human beings to enjoy seeing that kind of shit.  I mean, look at this fucking music video

or this fucking advert

The song is a bunch of women in sexy outfits, using those sexy outfits to attract people to the video, therefore making them money.  Also look at that fucking advert, there's a attractive bloke running around with his top off because that's the kind of men women want to attract with that perfume.  Is it sexist? NO OF COURSE FUCKING NOT YOU CLOWN!  Sex appeal just helps to sell things, it's the same for fucking video games too.

Now, before I go into why the argument itself is a load of arse, I'll say why it needs to fuck off.  It needs to fuck off because the people talking about it don't have a fucking CLUE what they're on about, ever.  I did a quick google of the issue and found this quote (http://www.vg247.com/2012/04/12/enough-we-must-all-try-to-kick-sexism-out-of-gaming/)

"The truth is that games are sexist in their depiction of women to a depressing degree. I raised the point on a press trip dinner last year: how many female characters can you think of that aren’t obviously designed to be sexually attractive to men? Apart from Shepard, no one around the table could suggest a single one."

Really? Fucking really? Not a single one?  They think that just because is a character is designed to be appealing to a man, it's sexist? FUCKING! BULLSHIT! While it's true there are a lot of female gamers out there, it never used to be that way.  For years and years and years, gaming was a male dominated hobby, and probably still is.  So if you're a company trying to push products, who are you going to aim the sex appeal at? OH YEAH! FUCKING MEN! 

But even if you ignore that whole side of it, this argument is so fucking shallow, most arguments I've seen about the depiction in women in games only EVER focuses on the look of the character, and not what the character is like personality wise or what they are capable of in the context of the game, let's look at one that the "gaming is sexist" crowd would have a field day with.

This is Alice, from the game Shadow Hearts on the Playstation 2.  Now look at this shit, if you were making the argument that games were sexist using this picture alone, you'd have so much to say.  She's innocent and weak looking, shes wearing a mini skirt and thigh highs, she's designed in such a way that makes you think she needs protecting, thus empowering men etc. etc. etc.

Well guess what? You'd be fucking wrong, on almost every count.  Sure, OK, for the daughter of a priest, her skirt length is a little suspect, but it's not like shes oozing sex appeal from every orifice, and there is nothing inherently sexist about a short skirt, I see women in short skirts every time I leave the fucking house.

But let's really think about her character here for a second.  The main character, called Yuri, makes a big deal about protecting her yadda yadda yadda, but then spends most of the game having to have his ass saved by Alice.  Hell, she gives her soul to a fucking Devil to save this guy, only to stand up to it and attempt to reclaim her soul by killing the devil, USING A FUCKING BIBLE AS A BLUNT WEAPON.  Sure, she needs help from Yuri in the end, but not because shes weak and helpless, but because Yuri is holding the magic mcguffin that stops the devil from being immortal.

On top of all that, she fights using a fucking bible, a sodding book.  She spends an entire 30+ hour game killing Gods, with a book!  Sure, her final attack gives a panty shot, but the game has this feel to it that makes it more anti-men than women.  It feels like the game is saying "yeah, you worked SO hard levelling up one of the best characters in the game, here, have 10 pixels worth of panty for your "effort""

If Shadow Hearts is sexist in any way at all, it's against men, not women.  Every man in the Shadow Hearts universe is characterised as dirty, clumsy, pathetic, perverted, weak, helpless as well as a load of other negative adjectives.

This whole thing isn't true for just Shadow Hearts, it's true for a fuckton of games where people just see a sexy woman on the box or in the bonus features and write the whole thing off as sexist trash. 

Yes, there is sexism in the gaming industry (against males AND females), and yes, it needs to be discussed and eventually put to rights, but the problem is that the vast majority of people I've seen talking about it, don't have a fucking clue and need to fuck off so that this discussion can progress, and not remain as a pathetic playground argument.

Note: I may do some other posts on this issue, regarding not the characters, but the way women are treated in the industry or whatever, we'll see how I feel.