Castlevania Series Run: Dracula X Chronicles

Well it's been a while but I finally did it! I finally got round to beating Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles for PSP.  This is going to be another gushy post about this game because it's fucking AWESOME

So for those that don't know, I'm going to explain what this game actually is.  If you remember a while ago, I made a ranty post about how much of a colossal shitfest Dracula X on SNES was.  Well this game was the original game that they butchered, but with a graphical face lift and a ton of other extras. 

So the game itself is basically everything we've experienced with previous Casltevania games, but refined and perfected in order to produce a platforming masterpiece.  The level design for this game is top notch and the bosses at the end of each stage are original and fun to fight against.  The branching paths make a return from Castlevania 3 but this time round they actually have a big impact on the outcome of the game.  Also there is a companion but I'll get into that later.

One complaint about this game is that it's a little bit too easy, but I don't really think that's the fault of the developers dumbing it down or anything.  Whenever I go online and look at forum posts about this game, there is a large number of people talking about how hard this game is.  The reason I probably think it's so easy is that I've been playing so much Castlevania that I've probably just gotten really good.  So to sum up this point, if you're a veteran CV player, you'll breeze through it, and if not, you'll get your ass kicked.  Either way it's still really fun.

But now we have to address something that is quite a glaring problem with this game, and that's your companion.

 That's a picture of Maria from the original PC-Engine version of the game, you can see her redesign on the box at the top of the page.

Anyway, this bitch right here, is too fucking powerful for her own good!  You can get her really easily, really early on and after you get her she will just destroy the fuck out of anything Dracula can possibly throw at you.  Compared to the main character, Richter, her attack is faster, she has a double jump and her item crushes are so overpowered it makes my face melt.

Now this isn't a bad thing, it doesn't ruin the game, but I have some problems with her from a storyline point of view here.  Richter is supposed this seasoned vampire hunter, with a legendary whip made for killing Dracula.  He's supposed to be a bad ass, but in the context of the game, his combat power is dwarfed by a small girl who shoots doves.  I'm aware that Maria is also supposed to be a vampire hunter too but c'mon, talk about stealing the spotlight here. 

Once you get her there is basically no reason to use Richter AT ALL unless you're doing the secrets.  Her attack is faster and you get no sacrifice in power, her double jump is extremely useful and shes a hell of a lot more nimble than Richter is.  The only disadvantage to using Maria is that every time she attacks, she makes this annoying "EY!" sound.  I think she might also have less health, but shes so fucking fast you'll never get hit anyway.

Well I'm not going to talk about Rondo of Blood itself, because it's not really all that different from any other Casltevania game prior, but what I am going to talk about, is the insane replay value in the PSP version.  There is SO MUCH SHIT here that even if you paid full price for it, it's worth every goddamn penny.

So lets go through all the big shit that you get with this game.  You get the Rondo of Blood remake, then you get the original PC Engine version of Rondo of Blood.  On top of that you get a full version of fucking Symphony of the Night! I mean holy shit that's another HUGE game just packaged in with an already meaty Castlevania game.  Finally you get some piece of shit parody game called Akumajou Dracula: Peke, but that takes about 30 seconds to play.

On top of getting an extra 3 games on top of the game you originally paid for, the remake itself contains a shitton of extra music CD's to collect that all count to a completion %age.  So if you're like me and you can't put a game down without getting the 100%, then you'll love finding all these discs.  Plus the music is awesome so they're worth getting anyway and you do need to use Richter for a couple of them, so just roflstomping your way through everything with Maria is not an option.  Finally there is a hidden ending after you fulfil a few requirements, so once you've beaten the game, you have a reason to go back.

To cut a very long story short, this game is fantastic and is easily one of the best games for the PSP.  So go pick it up and give it a whirl, you won't be disappointed at all.  If you don't have a PSP, then go emulate Rondo of Blood or some shit, because if you've not played it you're missing out.

I'll end this post with a picture of my 100% game just because I'm a dick and I like to show off

Castlevania Series Run: Castlevania Dracula X

What another horrible night to have a shitty fucking castlevania game! Ho-ly shit this game is fucking TERRIBLE, I hate it so damn much.  If you have been reading these posts, you can probably guess I'm a big Castlevania fan, but this? this is just fucking crap.

Now, if you're not a big castlevania fan, and you've played Dracula X: Chronicles on PSP, you're probably wondering how I can hate such a good game?  Well I don't, that game is awesome, and the original Rondo of Blood is also awesome, but this game is a fucking abomination and I want to punch it's development team in the goddamn soul.  Fuck this game.

So first of all, what is it exactly?  What Drac X is, is a shitty "port" of a awesome Castlevania game that was originally for the PC Engine known as Rondo of Blood.  This game was originally never released outside of Japan, so back in the day, the closest you could ever get to playing Rondo was this hunk of rotting anal leakage.

So what is it about this game that makes it so vomit inducingly awful?  Well, anyone who saw the original Rondo of Blood back in the day was hyped as shit for this getting a release over in the west.  The original had multiple pathways (like CV3) and a different character to play as (like CV3 but she didn't suck ass this time round) and all sorts of good stuff.  Instead, we got a mess of a game where the multiple pathways were pretty much cut, the graphics weren't as good, at the second character got demoted to yet another damsel in distress despite being a hardcore beastmaster death machine in the original.

So what the Super Nintendo players got in the end was a semi-remake of the PC Engine game, that was really fucking hard, and I don't mean the good kind of really fucking hard.  I mean the horrible, shitty kind of really fucking hard where every time you die you want to tear out your own eyes and throw them at the wall just so you don't have to look at this shitty game again.  Bullshit death pits, bullshit enemy placement and bullshit level design, none of which were an issue in the original game.

Sure, the music was nice and there were some good graphic effects, such as the fire in level 1

See look, it's fuckin' pretty! But you need more than just pretty fire effects in one level to make a good game, and this game doesn't have anything going for it outside of that.

Oh yeah, and the final boss is bullshit too.  It's Dracula as usual, all you have to do is smack him in the face with your whip, but this time, you have to fight him while bouncing around on columns over instant death pits.  It renders the whole purpose of your life bar fucking useless because if he hits you ONE FUCKING TIME that it, you're fucking dead. GG no re, fuck off back to the monastery with your whip shithead.  As soon as I beat this pool of stale spunk I instantly had to take a shower because I felt dirty after wasting all that fucking time.

But you know what?  If it wasn't called Castlevania, it would have been a passable platformer.  Hell, even if it was another CV game it would have been OK, but it was SUPPOSED to be Rondo of fucking blood.  How do you fuck Rondo of Blood up this goddamn much?!

Luckily we got Dracula X: Chronicles for the PSP a few years back, giving us a remastered version of Rondo, the original version of Rondo AND Symphony of the Night all bundled in.  Now that is an apology I can accept.