Mobile Gaming is Shit

I have a Japanese exam coming up soon and the chances of me passing it are pretty fucking slim.  This is one of the reasons that content has been so thin on the ground and it's partly because when I'm not eating, sleeping or wanking I've replaced a lot of my gaming time with studying.  This means that the only gaming I've been doing for the last few weeks has been little bouts of mobile games during my commute to work or lunch break or streams of Resident Evil 4.

So mobile gaming is shit but not for the reason you might think.  A lot of people rag on mobile gaming but actually in recent years it's been getting a lot better.  You still have your cheaply made puzzle games and various shit quality rip offs of whatever the mobile hit du jour is but it's a lot easier to find something of at least some quality now than it used to be.

For example I've clogged up my phone with a whole bunch of games such as the Shadowverse, a card game which makes Hearthstone look like a soggy pile of shit, Idolmaster, a rhythm game with a staggering number of songs for a free to play, Gyrosphere, a slow version of Monkey Ball and Perchang a fun little puzzler that I play while taking a shit.  Not to mention all the ports of actual games that exist on the app store now, mobile, at least from a selection stand point, isn't as painfully awful as you might think.

However I still fucking hate it because phones were just not designed for gaming and playing games on these things is a highly frustrating experience and a lot of the time I'd rather do my own wisdom teeth surgery than deal with the shit that these games are causing me. 

For example, phones do EVERYTHING nowadays but they also have limited space.  So it's all well and good having a decent selection of games but eventually you'll probably have to delete them for apps that are actually useful or so you can take a picture of that stupid cat you saw on the street yesterday.  But let's say that's not an issue for you because you're one of those weirdos that bought the million gig version of your phone, the controls are still shit.  Touch screen controls are wank outside of tapping or sliding, as soon as you have to start making precise movements or, god help you, playing with one of those stupid on screen D-Pads (Like in Sonic CD) playing the game becomes insanely annoying.  But OK, maybe you're a fucking twat who bought one of those controller add ons instead of just buying a portable system, the biggest problem with mobile gaming is the battery.

Games eat battery life faster than your mum eats sweet and sour pork at the all you can eat Chinese buffet.  Pokemon Go was the best example of this where playing the game for about an hour would drain you from 100 to about 60.  Any game beyond a shitty angry birds clone tends to destroy your battery and this problem is made worse if your phone has a little bit of age on it so the battery life isn't quite what it used to be either.  I started my lunch break yesterday at 80%, played 2 games of Shadowverse and was knocked down to about 20.  On the other hand I can grab my PSP and finish Ys1 Chronicles about 8 times before the battery light even starts blinking.  Yes, I know portable chargers exist but that's just another fucking thing I have to buy with my hard earned cash to play games that just quite frankly aren't as good as proper portable games.

It's nice to see the quality of mobile gaming go up but the hardware just isn't appropriate for any kind of meaningful gaming experience without being tethered to a wall socket or spending a decent amount of cash on extra bits.  Hopefully in a few years I'll be able to make a post talking about mobile gaming being the bees knees and praising how far it's come but by that time I'll probably be dead.

Dragon Quest 1 and Fairune iOS Double Bill

So recently I've been getting some use out of my iPhone of all damn things.  Usually games on the iPhone are complete and total garbage.  They are either stupid shit game coded by some beginner trying to get some experience (which is fair enough I guess) or some kind of monster collecting bullshit fest with micro transactions out the arse.

Well I said fuck all that and I'm going to look for some fucking mobile games that have some kind of ending.  None of this endless fucking bullshit with daily dungeons and seasonal things to collect, just a straight up normal game with a start and a finish.

So I started by playing it safe and going for a game with a bit of a legacy behind it and that was Dragon Quest.  If you've somehow not heard of Dragon Quest it's the big motherfuckin' granddad of JRPGs.  You thought FF1 was basic? HO BOY YOU AIN'T SEEN SHIT.  We're talking a time when the games entire combat system was focused on one on one battles and the plot was basically "find and kill the bad thing"

Obviously there's more to it than that, the game focuses a lot on exploration and it's up to you, the player, to seek out hints and uncover  the secrets of the world in order to gain access to a big castle and shove your legendary blade in some assholes face.  It's pure, simple, somewhat challenging and a hell of a lot of fun.  Usually I play mobile games when I'm out and about and too busy to bust out the Vita or 3DS but I found myself logging in time on Dragon Quest while sitting around my fucking house.

It's a fucking classic and the iOS version comes with fancy graphics and a nice easy to use interface.  So if you don't want to deal with all that archaic crap then this is a good place for you to find out what all the fuss was about back in '86.  While it's not free it costs so little money on the app store that it may as well be so I highly recommend checking it out.

The other game that got to eat my phones battery life like candy was Fairune, a strange little action RPG type thing that is free to download and play.

Whoever made this game must of been a big fan of the Ys series because the game involves a read headed protagonist running around a world killing enemies by running into them like a Beyblade that's been on fire.  Like Dragon Quest the game has a simple plot of go and kill the bad thing and it also involves a lot of exploration and puzzle solving in order to reach the big bads lair so you can shove a sword into his face.

The game is short and easy but when you're dealing with mobile games this is pretty much exactly what you want.  There are a couple of moments that will stump you for more bullshit reasons rather than good design but you won't need a guide to find out what's going on and when you do make progress you'll want to slap yourself for not trying that method earlier.  There are even leader boards for completion time so if you're the speed running type then maybe you'll get a kick out of that but I found the controls to be a bit shitty so I didn't want to bother.

I've heard that it's had a release on 3DS but why pay for it when you can just get it for free off the app store.  Maybe the 3DS has some extra features, I'd be surprised if it didn't but I'd just stick to the free version for your phone. 

I did have a weird issue where the game would crash constantly on launch unless I launched it from the app store which is weird but you'll finish it in a few sessions so it's not too big a deal.  Go give it a download, you have nothing to lose and it's probably better than that shitty monster collecting game you've had collecting dust for a long long time.

So yeah, iPhone is still mostly complete and utter trash when it comes to games but there are a few titles hidden on the store that are worth playing.  Check these two out and I'm also down to try some others if anyone has any suggestions.

Regarding the Stream and OBON!

I've been very silly

In my last post I made a big rant about how twitch had fucked up with their latest changes to VODs and recorded audio.  I'm not going back on that, what they have done is complete bullshit and it fucks a lot of people over, including me.

Now I made a big song and dance about moving over to Hitbox.tv and after experimenting a bit with Hitbox I can say that it's actually a pretty good service.  The best part about Hitbox is that I can remove the delay from my stream so I can chat with my viewers in real time, which is nice.

However, let's face it, as of right now Twitch is still the best streaming service and considering I'm doing this stream for charity I want to reach as many people as I can because the more people who enjoy my stuff means more potential donations to the Alzheimer's Society.  So I won't be completely moving over to Hitbox, but I do intend to use it from time to time.  Think of it as as a backup stream for when Twitch is down or dropping frames or something.  Imagine Twitch as a Channel 1 and Hitbox as a Channel 2.

So with that in mind, go and give me a follow on Hitbox (www.hitbox.tv/taurinensis) and maybe you'll catch me or maybe even one of my buddies streaming under the Identity Gaming flag.

Also, next week in Japan it's Obon!

Just to fill you all in, Obon is a time in Japan where people remember their dead relatives.  What this really translates to is everyone going back to their home towns, hanging out with their living family and visiting the graves of their dead ones.

It also means I have a week off work.

This is the first genuine bit of downtime I've had in a long, LONG time so my goal for the week is to get as many of the met donation incentives done as I can.  It also means that I'm going to have plenty of time to stream so hopefully we can finally finish Final Fantasy 5 and move on to the really good ones.  You'll also probably see a new speed run of Ys coming out soon once I stop being shit at it and manage to get past the first few bosses.

So keep an eye out next week and get those donations ready!

I'm not dead! Just a bit sick! Silent Bomber 14 and other updates

If you're wondering why there hasn't been any content for the past few days, it's because it was my birthday....and then I got a bit sick.  But I've recovered now so I'm back in the driving seat and ready to chat shit about video games once again.

First things first, let me provide you with new video content to enjoy!

Then I want to spend a little bit of time talking about the charity! 

At the time of writing this post there is £956 sitting in the tracker, we're only a little tiny bit away from making the £1000 goal.  Once my Christmas holiday kicks in at the end of the week, I'll see if I can do anything about getting a few more incentives up to maybe get the goal met before the end of the new year, so keep an eye out on that side bar.

Then the stream.  On Monday the 23rd there will be the Tomba marathon, so hopefully we can get some donations during that.  Also starting from tomorrow I'll be starting my new Speed Run project of Ys for the PC, so if you enjoy those games that'll be worth watching.  Starting with casual runs as I have no idea about a decent route for a speed run just yet, but all in good time.

As far as YouTube is concerned, the Silent Bomber play through will be finishing soon and I'm hoping to record some new ones really soon.  Also I have an idea for a show on coin-op gaming in the works but the people I plan to record it with are currently busy doing Christmas stuff, so that might not get done till mid January at the earliest.

Finally it's business as usual for the blog, just me writing about crap and getting angry at stupid bullshit every so often.

So yeah, now that I'm a year older and not sick anymore, we can return to a decent flow of content again!  Thank's for your patience.

Ys 1 and 2 Chronicles

This was a game I finished months ago, while I was still in Japan, and I can't believe it's taken me this long to get round to talking about it.

Ys 1 and 2 Chronicles is a remake of an old Japanese PC-88 game that was released for PSP and PC on Steam.  The game follows a dude called Adol as he goes on adventures to save the lands of Ys from various nasties.  It's a huge series spanning over tons of games, so if you're looking for a place to start Ys 1 and 2 Chronicles is a good place.

Before I go into talking about the actual game, let me spend a moment talking about the name.  One thing that really REALLY pisses me off, and I don't know why, is the way some people pronounce the name.  In Japan, the title is written イース which is pronounce "ee su", so that's obviously the most logical way to pronounce it in English.  Yet despite this, there are still TONS of people who prounounce it like "whyz" or "Y.S.".  This wouldn't bug me so much if the series was new, but it's been going since 1987, you think fans would have figured it out by now.

Anyway, stupid pet peeves out of the way, Ys 1 and 2 are actually really good games.  It would be wrong to call them RPGs despite all the levelling and stats that are involved.  It's more like an adventure game where you're looking for the right item to rub on the right thing but instead of just pointing and clicking on things you have to fight bosses at the end of a set of puzzles.

Being an old game, it does suffer a little from the "what the fuck do I do" syndrome, but everything you need is given to you in the game, you don't NEED to resort to Gamefaqs to beat the game.  Speaking of it being an old game, the remakes come with remixed music but you also have the option to use the original PC-88 versions of all the tunes and the game actually has a really good soundtrack both remastered and in its original bits and boops.

The combat in Ys 1 and 2 is the strangest thing about the game.  You don't fight things by swinging a sword and hitting things, you fight by simply running into enemies like a big red haired Beyblade.  What's important in this game when it comes to combat is the angle in which you hit an enemy, so attacking from the side or behind means that you take no damage, but smashing something head on means you might take a nasty hit.  It's actually quite a cool way to do combat and it means that if you are backtracking through an area, you don't have to stop to fight anything since you can just barrel through them.

The games are also quite long as well, so you get quite a lot of value for a pretty cheap price.  Ys 1 is a little on the short side, but the idea is that Ys 2 is like part 2 of the first story, they just carry on, so really Ys 1 and 2 are just one game.  I read somewhere that the reason for this is that the games had to be split due to the limitations of the PC-88 back when it was first released, so when they are released now they are packaged as one thing because that's what was originally intended.

Anyway, if you're looking for a little RPG/Adventure thing to sink your teeth into, give Ys a go.  If you do end up enjoying it there are a ton more games as well, so you won't be struggling for a Ys fix anytime soon if you are new to the series.  Steam has 3 Ys games for quite cheap, including this one, so I suggest you fire it up and drop on this classic adventure series.