Friday, 29 January 2016
Yokai Watch Is Bullshit
Yokai are these things in Japanese folklore, kind of like ghosts but not quite. They usually cause some kind of trouble which can range from mild inconvenience to outright killing folks. Go look up the Wikipedia article if you want a quick low down on Yokai, it's a long standing Japanese folk thing that would be way to hard to explain in a single paragraph.
So then Yokai Watch fucking comes along and just repackages years of Japanese folk tales into trite little shit shows for fucking stupid bastard children to enjoy. Apart from the fact that I'm assaulted constantly at work about the show and it's workings, they have the fucking gall to release a number of shitty Pokemon type rip offs for the fucking DS. I remember when Yokai Watch 2 came out and every single game store had big fucking posters for it everywhere and I couldn't move without seeing this cheap knockoff Pokemon shit everywhere. This of course attracted lots of kids to the store and kids in game stores are the fucking worst, always begging loudly at their parents and getting all twinkle eyed over the most obvious pile of shit shovelware on the shelf.
What's funny is that hating Yokai Watch makes me feel old. I have a buddy in his 30s who HATES Pokemon with a passion. I don't really give too many shits about Pokemon, I stopped dealing with it a long time ago and while the games are pretty bad they are unfortunately the best place to go if you want online monster breeding action. I never understood his deep seated hatred for Pokemon but now I do because that's exactly what Yokai Watch is, Pokemon for a new generation of thick pricks.
What's even more depressing is that I quite like reading about Yokai and shit. Game developers, especially for JRPGs would often use these Yokai folk tales as a sort of inspiration for their enemies and bosses. I would then go off and read these folk tales and it would be extremely interesting to see which part of the culture these things came from. But now Yokai Watch has completely ruined all that, now I feel like a complete twat for looking any of this up because you know there's some fucktard on the internet or some shit weeaboo somewhere who will hear you mention it and use that as an excuse to regail you with their Yokai Watch knowledge. What makes it even worse is that half the fucking Yokai in the show aren't Yokai, their either completely made up or taken from non-Yokai stuff like Shinto lore, stupid shitty writers.
Shin Megami Tensei is a great example of a monster breeding game that draws from folklore instances without being geared at twats. Unfortunately the genre of monster breeding games is completely shit up because of mass market bullshit like Pokemon and Yokai Watch making cutsey shallow bullshit the norm for the genre. Fuck Yokai Watch, fuck Pokemon and fuck all of this other shallow crap, burn it all.