Five Nights at Freddy's

I couldn't have been more late to this party even if I tried.  A game series that's gathered a massive following and that has tons of sequels but only now am I getting around to actually playing it for myself.  The curse of a large backlog I guess.

Five Nights at Freddy's is a horror game where you play as an after hours security guard in a chuck-e-cheese style pizza restaurant.  On your first night you get a message from the guy who worked there before you warning you that the robot mascots will wander the halls at night and if they see you they will attempt to shove you into one of the suits, killing you violently in the process.  Armed with nothing but some security cameras, light switches and a couple of doors, you must survive from 12am to 6am in the restaurant.  It sounds easy on paper but in practice it really isn't.

The game itself consists of not much more than the screen above.  You move the mouse down to the bar to open the camera and click the buttons on the wall to toggle the lights and the doors.  You'd think that you'd just be able to close the doors and just wait it out until 6am but the problem is that pesky little power percentage in the corner.  Turning on a light, closing a door, opening the camera all drain your power supply at an increased rate.  If the power hits zero then the lights go off, the doors fly open and the mascots are free to just walk in and give you a very bad day at work.  The crux of the game is quickly checking the cameras to get the rough positions of the mascots and only closing the doors when absolutely necessary.  Of course, once you get good and know what you're doing there's ways to game the AI to make your life a little easier but the game is pretty heavy on the randomness and sometimes you'll just die because the game wants you to.  It sounds really annoying but considering a night is only about 8 minutes and the restart is pretty much instant it's not so bad.

The horror in FNAF manifests itself almost exclusively as jump scares, which is usually something I hate but here I don't seem to mind it so much.  If a mascot gets into your room the game will leave you unawares for a moment before throwing the 3D model into your face with a loud noise quickly followed by a game over screen.  Kind of like any of those screamer flash games from the early days of the internet.  I think the reason I give it a pass here though is because it's not TRYING to be anything more than a jump scare game and it tells you this in its loading screen before the main menu.  It's not like, let's say, Dead Space, a game claiming to be at atmospheric romp through a derelict ship and then a good deal of it's "horror" coming from having Necromorphs jump out of small holes screaming at you.  While jump scares ARE cheap and I still hate them, at least the developer Scott Cawthon is up front and basically just flat out says to you "I'm going to jump scare you now, have fun!"

The game is cheap on Steam so I'd recommend going to pick it up.  I finished it in a single evening on stream (granted I had some help) but when you finish there's a sort of "hard mode" in the form of 6th Night and when you finish that you get Custom Night which lets you set the AI levels of each mascot to your own liking, so it's got some replayability too.  Even after the jump scares stop making you jump there's something rather compelling about the mechanics of the game that will keep you coming back.  Every afternoon I've been firing it up to attempt to clear a custom night with all the settings turned to max and it really is quite challenging.

If you're looking for a cheap horror experience, Freddy Fazbears Pizzeria is a pretty good place to go.

Tau Plays Ruin Demo

Decay: The Mare

The point and click adventure is a long dead genre as far as I'm concerned, I've not seen a good one in a long long time and while Decay: The Mare isn't quite the genre coming back to life, it's sort of a step in the right direction.

The game follows the adventures of Sam, a young man who has ended up in a rehab clinic called Reaching Dreams.  He starts to have these weird dreams and this is where all the horror begins.  The dreams are full of weird imagery, run down environments and a strange creature that appears to want him dead and it's up to you as the player to help him get out.

Game play is standard, old school style point and click fare.  You are given a still of the room you are looking at and sweeping your mouse across it will uncover various elements that can be inspected or interacted with.  You have to solve puzzles and find clues in order to make your way through each episode and uncover the mystery of Reaching Dreams and just why it's so fucked up.

I enjoyed Decay: The Mare, it was kind of atmospheric and had a surprisingly amount of quality for game that was, as far as I understand, initially released on the Xbox Live Indie Game service.  If you've seen anything from that fucking cesspool you know most of the stuff on there is garbage but Decay manages to be actually OK.  The game has 3 episodes which are all nice bite sized lengths so you can fire it up on a lazy weekend, play for an hour or so and then put it away when you beat the episode.  This of course means that the game is kind of short but considering it's cheap price point of £8 you are easily getting £8 worth of content here.

There are however 2 big fat glaring problems with the game.  The first is that's its too fucking easy and for a game like this that's a big problem.  Back in the day a point and click adventure could take days or even fucking weeks to finish because of some weird puzzle that you couldn't wrap your head around but Decay doesn't quite have that.  The puzzles seem cryptic at first and it's clear that an effort was made to make them challenging but they all fall a bit flat.  My wife played the game as well and she commented on how the hardest aspect of this game was navigation of the confusing environments.  I didn't think that personally but it's something to consider.  The game also comes with a hint button so if you really can't be fucked then just slam that and find out what to do next.  But then again, if you're playing a game like this why bother if you're just going to resort to the hint button every time you get stuck?

Secondly the game isn't scary at all.  It presents itself as a horror game and the opening cinematic gave me a weird Silent Hill vibe but the horror is just kind of bad and the game relies too often on jump scares.  The most egregious example I can think of is a puzzle that involves looking at a code for a box with a telescope.  The game purposely gives you the wrong code so that you second guess yourself and when you go to look the second time the big scary monster is eyeing up the camera and a big CRASH plays to tell you to be scared now.  The creepiest thing in the game was a talking, disembodied but heavy breathing handbag but all that did was remind me of the talking head in Killer7 and now I just want to play that again.

All in all, Decay isn't a bad game by any stretch it's just rough round the edges.  If you have some time to kill and you're a fan of point and click adventure games then you could do a hell of a lot worse than this.  Despite the problems I mentioned above me and my wife played it through and came away feeling like we had a good time so I'd absolutely recommend giving it a go.

Tau Plays Discworld Part 10

Nearly finished Chapter 2!

Tau Plays Discworld Part 9

More golden items and preparations for the next section!

Tau Plays Discworld Part 2

Wow, I've not put anything out in a while thanks to Golden Week in Japan.  So, let's kick it off with a new Discworld part!  Enjoy!

Tau Plays Discworld Part 1

A new Playthrough donated for by you guys!  Big shout outs to Monty for the £50 donation to make this happen!

RIP Terry Pratchet

On Thursday I found out that sadly, Terry Pratchett had died.

For those that may not know, Terry Pratchett was quite a famous author of fantasy novels and probably most well known for his Discworld books.  To be honest I'm not a huge fan of fantasy novels and as a result never read any of his books but Discworld did manage to find its way into the world of video games.

There's no way I could do the Discworld game justice in a short blogpost such as this but it's awesome.  If anything this event has inspired me to go play through it again so expect some in depth words about this awesome game later but if you haven't played it already you should go do it right now.  Terry Pratchett also suffered from Alzheimer's Disease so it's a news story that hits a bit close to home when it comes to the aim of this blog site. 

I've been told his books are really good too so if you can't find the game then go read the books instead, I know I'm going to go look them up now.  May he rest in peace and lets enjoy some Discworld to honor his memory.

3 Genres That Need A Comeback

Gaming has changed over the years in both many good ways and a few bad ways.  One of the things that has changed a lot since the days of old are the kind of genres prevalent and the industry right now and this is kind of to be expected.  That said, there are a few genres that were popular back then that aren't so popular right now and I feel it's a bit of a shame.  So I'm going to talk about 3 genres of games that I feel need a little bit more love.  I'm sure no one will listen but I just want to talk fondly about some types of games that I love.

1.  Point n' Clicker

Out of the 3 I'm about to talk about, I feel that this one has died the saddest of deaths.  These games are awesome because they are challenging and a lot of them had pretty good stories to boot which made solving that puzzle running on moon logic all the more sweeter.  Games such as Monkey Island, Beneath a Steel Sky and I Have No Mouth But I Must Scream are all spoken of fondly by fans but there hasn't really been any new games in the genre for a long time.  The closest we came in my recent memory was a PC game called Anna but that ran on so much moon logic that I kind of dampened the whole experience.

Unfortunately, these genre has kind of been ruined by people making games that LOOK like point and click games but actually aren't games at all.  Games such as Gone Home and The Stanley Parable are all talked about sort of in the same was as a point and click, except they have no game play to speak of and aren't really much more than that. 

It's kind of sad that the most excited anyone has been for anything in this genre is a remake of Grim Fandango.  That game is awesome but the levels of hype people have for a remake they have played a long time ago in a genre that doesn't lend itself well to re playability, speaks volumes.

2.  Side Scrolling Beat-em-up

Often mistakenly called fighting games by a few people, Beat-Em-Ups were super popular back in the day.  They were perfect for arcades and the home console ports of these games were perfect for when you had a couple of friends over and just wanted to beat the shit out of lots of dudes.

This genre didn't really die as much as it just faded out of the mainstream and replaced with bombastic combat games like Bayonetta and Devil May Cry.  The hack n slash's of the now are awesome, no doubt, but I miss the simplicity of something like Final Fight or Streets of Rage and just being able to kick back and not worry about crazy combo chains or anything like that.

There have been some attempts to keep it alive with that Scott Pilgrim game and Double Dragon Neon but these are so few and far between it's not enough to satisfy and quite frankly they don't quite stack up to the classics.

3. The Dungeon Crawler

This is another genre that isn't completely dead but is so niche that I haven't found a single other person who I can talk with at length about games in the genre.  I feel like this genre has been pushed aside in favor of a myriad of rouge like games which isn't necessarily a bad thing but I wish the classic dungeon crawl would get more love.

Back in the day, if you wanted to make any kind of progress in these games then you had to get some graph paper and get your cartographer skills on.  I can imagine people wouldn't like this because they don't want to have to play a video game with a pen and paper on hand, but for me this was part of the appeal.  It's like you're ACTUALLY on the adventure, making your own maps and making your own notes in order to survive the hardships of the dungeon.  If you get lost or forget key locations that's because YOU weren't thorough enough as an adventurer and you only really have yourself to blame.  The other thing I find appealing about these games is that they are usually fucking rock solid hard and I'm attracted to stupidly high challenge like moth to a flame.

Recent titles have included things like Etrian Odyssey, Shin Megami Tensei 4 and Legend of Grimrock but these only really serve to keep the genre afloat except the new school stuff doesn't really have the same kind of appeal as the old school.  A lot of these games have either simplified or automatic mapping and they just aren't as hard as the old stuff.  The ONLY game that gave me what I really wanted was The Dark Spire on DS but that was only 1 game released fucking ages ago, which is a damn shame.

I need these genre to bust my balls a little more, you know?

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Anyway that's all for now, three genres that I feel need a little more love.  Maybe I'm being unreasonable or weird or whatever but that's just how I feel.  Not that modern main stream genres are bad or anything like that but some of the littler guys would get a little more love.

It's Not Nostalgia Goggles

Sometimes I get into discussions with my friends or on forums and things like that about how older games are better than modern ones.  I'm one of those people who is inclined to agree with that idea because personally I find a lot of modern games to be a bit of a joke.  That doesn't mean I think modern gaming is bad but I just find the older experiences a lot more enjoyable.

At first I thought it was just a case of personal taste or hell, maybe it was really nostalgia goggles but on my long boring train rides I decided to think about it a bit more critically and old games are really just better.

So here's what I'm going to do to illustrate my point.  I'm going to take the first 3 genres that pop into my head and explain why old games in the genre are better than the newer ones.

First Person Shooters

This is a no brainer since if there's any genre that is guilty of being dumbed down for mass consumption its this one.  Take old games like Doom, Quake, Duke Nukem, Hexen and many many others.  These games were popular not only because of their ultra violence, but because of their big sprawly labyrinthine levels full of secrets and generally speaking you needed some degree of brain power and strategy to win at these games on higher difficulty levels.

Contrast that with now, where all the exploration and skill that this genre was famous for has been completely stripped out for an experience that people who don't want to spend time learning a title (read: idiots) can handle.  Regenerating health was the first big culprit, then came limited weapon inventories ruining strategy and limiting your play style.  Also every level in a modern shooter is basically a corridor and all you do is hide behind cover and pop heads.

That's right, modern FPS is nothing but the fair ground duck shooting attraction but with a military theme and attached to a roller coaster track.  Finally, don't give me none of that shit about Multiplayer either.  If you think Call of Duty or Halo stack up to something like Unreal Tournament or Quake then you need a slap.

RPGs 

RPGs barely fucking exist nowadays and that's a damn shame.  Just to qualify, when I say RPGs I mean both the J and W type, so don't worry I'm not discriminating between countries.  Western made RPGs used to be such deep and rich experiences.  Things such as Ultima, Baldurs Gate and old school Fallout were such joys to play with so much goddamn content in them that it would probably take a few playthroughs just to notice all the little details about the world you were in.  Japanese RPGs were a little more simplistic but the variety of what was on offer in that genre back in the day was absolutely staggering.  Most western games tended to focus on Tolkien-esque swords and sorcery settings while JRPGs tended to have more outlandish settings and characters.

Contrast that with now, where every Western made RPG just feels like a cheap knockoff of something that came WAY before it.  Most RPGs today have these terrible fucking "morality systems" and stupid branching dialogue trees with only 2 or 3 options on them and the extra tidbits about a worlds lore aren't even half as developed as they are in older games.  Just look at how Elder Scrolls started and look at it now and you'll see exactly what I mean.

Japan on the other hand seems to have forgotten how to produce anything that isn't shallow, moe, otaku pandering bullshit with every game box on a store shelf having some wide eyed anime girl on it doing something cute and the game play is much shallower.

The Point and Click Adventure

 Do I even need to explain this one to you?  Just look at stuff like Monkey Island, Sanitarium, Myst, Grim Fandango and god knows what else.  Then look at what passes off for an "adventure" game nowadays.  Gone Home, The Stanley Parable, Serina just to name 3.  A genre once known for it's insane mind bending puzzles and great stories now reduced to walking simulators with barely any game play produced by people who can't make a game worth a shit and can't write for shit either.

Let's just be happy that GoG exists to preserve all the great point and clickers so that people can still experience them and all this modern badly written bullshit can hopefully be forgotten about

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Now I know I've been ranting and it sounds like I hate modern gaming with a passion but that couldn't be further from the truth.  Modern gaming is still great and there are still new titles that come out and I have plenty of fun with.  It's just that gaming has gotten noticeably stupider and I think it's a damn shame.

Also I know I've been talking about "modern gaming" in general terms but there are exceptions to all the above and in all other genres.  Some developers are still trying to capture the magic of the old school shooter with things like Painkiller and The Rise of the Triads remake to varying levels of success.  I've been hearing great things about Divinity: Original Sin and Japan is still producing RPGs of the old quality such as "俺の屍を越えてゆけ２" which looks fucking radical

The point and clicker is still being moderately screwed but an HD remake of Grim Fandango is coming out so I guess it's not all bad, just a shame that the newest thing I can think of in the genre worth a damn is Anna on PC

So to all you devs trying to make intelligent games for the modern age, keep on going.  Finally to all you devs making safe, mass appeal bullshit, try pushing out the boat a little more will ya?   You can still make buckets of money with a smart game, I'm sure it'll be OK.

The Phoenix Wright Movie

So last night I was sat around watching TV with the family and we end up being engrossed in this Japanese court room drama called Legal High.  Legal High is an extremely light hearted and somewhat ridiculous drama about lawyers and if you could compare it to anything else it would be Phoenix Wright.  That's when it struck me that last year (I think) Phoenix Wright got it's own movie adaptation so I hunted it down an gave it a watch.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (or Gyakuten Saiban 逆転裁判 as it's known in Japan) is a series of mystery solving video games that are half visual novel and half point and click adventure.  You play as Phoenix Wright, an up and coming defence lawyer who takes on various cases for people who have been wrongly accused of something that's usually murder.  You spend half the game trotting around various locations talking to people and collecting evidence and the other half of the game in the courtroom having a sort of evidence war with the prosecutor.

Now 9 times out of 10, video game movie adaptations are a pile of complete wank, but Phoenix Wright is actually pretty good.  If there is one thing that I can say about this movie, it's that for the most part, it stays faithful to the games.  The story follows the I think the second and final cases from the first game but they do a good job of setting everything up so if you haven't played the games you'll still be able to follow the murder mystery.

The characters are well acted and the costume and makeup work is really really good.  It's not completely perfect with Dick Gumshoe being a little bit too thin and competent for what I'm used to and Maya not quite matching her in game personality 100%, but it's not changed enough to the point to be offensive.  The core character is still there and when it's backed up by costume design that would make even the best cosplayers green with envy it's a lot of fun to watch.

They also do a good job with the camera work trying their best to mimic the shots that you would see from the game.  Granted the actors do move around a bit more than they would in the video games but if it was just 3 people behind desks talking and slamming tables it wouldn't really be all that good for a movie.

Really it's the care that was taken to make this movie resemble the games as close as possible is what makes it so good.  If you're a fan then pretty much everything is here and you'll feel really familiar with all the characters right off the bat.  All the key scenes are there too including the infamous cross examination of a fucking parrot so you there aren't any points where you'll feel frustrated because key points from the games are excluded from the movie.

Finally, the movie does take some liberties with the setting a little bit.  The courtroom has this steampunky projector system that they use to present evidence with.  I see why they did it but it just seems out of place within the setting.  Also there are parts of the movie that seem a bit dark and grim where they shouldn't be such as the visiting room in the prison.  In the movie it's a really dark, dank and horrible place but it's never shown in such a way in the games.  Also the shoehorning in of the police mascot was a little silly but it didn't really ruin anything.

So to round off, Phoenix Wright is quite frankly, the best video game movie that exists right now to my knowledge.  If you're a fan go watch it, you'll get a kick out of it as you see all your favourite parts from the first game acted out.  If you're not a fan, go watch it anyway since you'll still be able to follow it and it's a pretty good murder mystery movie if not a little bit on the silly side.

Anna: Extended Edition

I can't even remember how I came round to owning this game and I never played the original Anna, but I finally got round to playing the Extended Edition which was released this year.

The premise for Anna, from what I understand about it, is that you play as a university professor who dreams of a abandoned sawmill in the hills of Italy and as he makes his way through the haunted place while he uncovers the secret of some woman he may or may not have known called Anna.

This game is classic point and click adventure stuff, you move around the environment picking up all sorts of items and knick knacks using them on other bits of the environment to solve puzzles and progress.  On top of that you have to find all sorts of documents, books and letters that give hints for the games various puzzles, some of which run on complete moon logic but if you pay close attention to clues you'll still be able to work it out.

Not all the puzzles are created fair though.  There was one point in particular early on where I had to cut myself over a pool of water, but for this action to actually work you have to be standing in a specific part of the room.  The clues for this puzzle don't give any indication of where you have to stand, just that your blood needs to be in that pool of water.  So of course I assume I'm doing it wrong for about 2 hours before giving up and finding out online that I was actually doing it right but the hit box for the solution is fucking stupid.

I'm only going to mention that puzzle because it's an early puzzle that's easy to solve, but let's just say it's not the only one like that.  There are a few examples of stuff with solutions that aren't to difficult to figure out but actually executing the solution is a pain in the hole because the game wants to be a fussy arsehole.

The game also has this horror game vibe going through it with strange hauntings and and strange sounds that are supposed to freak you out.  These are cool at first but when you realise some of the cool shit has an effect on a sanity meter that will kill you if it runs out, they become more annoying than anything else.  There is one example of something that happens throughout the entire game completely at random and will drain your sanity but if I describe it, it might ruin something.  If you take too long solving puzzles then eventually you're going to have your sanity drained and with very few ways to restore it, eventually you're going to get killed.  It's a pain in the fucking arse and it shouldn't have been made so that it's basically impossible for one to restore the sanity meter.

Overall though, I like Anna: Extended Edition, the point and click adventure is a dying breed and it's nice to get one that reminds me of some of the obscure titles that I used to play during my youth.  Also if like me, you never played the original version of Anna, then the Extended Edition has that shit too so you can play both of them and see what's different and what you missed out on the first time round.

So if you liked Anna, then get Extended.  If you haven't played Anna, then go do it and try to beat it without a guide.  If you're wandering around for 3 hours without getting anywhere then by all means use the internet, but a great deal of the fun is from wandering for a bit, musing on a problem and then solving it under your own steam.  Like I said, these games are an endangered species, so savour them.

Bring Back Point n' Click

What happened to this genre?  Back when I was a child shit like Sanitarium, Monkey Island and Grim Fandango were popular games but now this entire genre of puzzler has just dropped off the face of the earth.

If for some reason you don't know what I mean by "Point n' Click" it was a genre of puzzle game that involved a main character on some kind of adventure and the game play focused on solving clever puzzles using items you find in the world and exploration.  There was no combat in these games, just talking and puzzle solving all backed up by really good storylines.  Sure, there were shit point n' click games but the good ones were really good, memorable games that still hold up today if you ask me.

But then the genre just died and we barely see these games anymore.  Sure, we've had a couple attempt to do the whole point n' click thing but they are different and quite frankly, not as good.  To be honest I think it's a sad indication of games getting stupider.  In the age of checkpoints, set pieces and hand holding gameplay, the idea of a genre where the player is left to their own devices to explore and solve puzzles doesn't seem like it would sell many copies, which is a shame really.

The reason I make this post is because of my disappointment with a game called Gone Home, a title I haven't even played yet.

Now I'm not passing judgement on this game entirely because like I said a second ago, I've not actually had a chance to give it a go.  That said, upon first seeing it in the Steam store I got excited because I thought it looked like a point n' click game, something I would have been excited to try.  But then while browsing certain forums I came across a gif of the entire game being beaten in less than a minute.

Now I'm sure there is more to it than that, but the fact that this can be done means that it's probably not very good.  I've heard some things about the story and how it's really focused on that, but it isn't much of an excuse considering that Monkey Island had a proper story but still managed to be a suitable length and challenge.

Still, once it goes cheap on sale I'll still give Gone Home a try so I can pass some proper judgement, but it's a shame that it wasn't the point n' click game I hoped for.  It's not all doom and gloom though, if you do want to give this genre a try then there is a ton of abandonware that will run in Dosbox and Good Old Games is providing Beneath a Steel Sky, a really good Point n' Click for free, so go check that shit out and see what all the hubub is about.

The Neverhood

Usually when I write about a specific game title, it's something I'm playing or I've just completed, but today I'm going to talk about a game I beat about 4 years ago.

So chances are, you have never heard of The Neverhood.  I know when I first was introduced to this game by a friend at university I had never heard of this fucking thing before but holy shit I'm glad I found out.

The Neverhood is a old point and click adventure game that was released in 1996 and from what I understand on the Wikipedia page it wasn't released in Europe which explains why I had never heard of the damn thing, but it could be wrong.

Anyway, the whole thing that made this game different from every other PC point and click adventure game is that the whole thing was done in claymation, and it was really good claymation too.  Everything from the settings to the characters and animations were completely done in clay, I dread to think how long it took to record all that shit for the game.

At this point I'd talk about the story but sadly it has been too long since I last played this game so I don't really remember it, at all.  I do remember enjoying it but I can't remember what the fuck happened.  It's not the kind of story that people would get their games as arts hat out for, but it was a competently written little adventure.  There is a complete plot summary on the wiki page if you care that much.

The gameplay was pretty standard point and click stuff, but the puzzles were pretty good.  They weren't the stupid moon logic puzzles that you would see in some point and click games on the PC (Necronomicon is a game like that which sticks out in my mind) but they were challenging enough so that you felt satisfied about solving them.  The only really annoying thing about the game play is that there is a part where you have to find tapes, and to get one of the tapes you have to pass through a 38 screen corridor filled with game lore on the wall.  You don't have to read it (I didn't read all of it to be honest) but you absolutely HAVE to get the tape at the end, and it's a little tedious.

Finally the absolute best part of this game, the thing that triggered my memory and made me want to write a big gushy post on it is the music.  But I'm not going to tell you how good the music, I'm just going to post a track and have you judge it for yourself.

Anyway if you can find this game, give it a go, it's fucking amazing.  No amount of gushing I do will do it justice, just go find it.

Free Game Friday: Beneath a Steel Sky

 

What the hell are you doing here?  The Steam Summer Sales are still going, shit is like $2.50, and still, here you are, looking for some free shit to play anyway.   But that's not a bad thing, because sometimes its the free shit that is really awesome, like in this case!

Beneath a Steel Sky is an old as shit point and click adventure game that was released in 1994 for stuff like DOS and the Amiga.  The plot is really good but I played this a while back so I don't really remember.  What I do remember is that you play a guy called Robert (I think) and you get taken out of your home in the wastelands to be executed or something.  Anyway, you manage to get out of that and then you and your sass talkin' robot have to find a way to escape the city!  

OK so the plot is way better than that, but I beat this back in December so gimme a break.  The gameplay is standard point and click stuff, you find items, talk to people an solve puzzles until you uncover all the mysteries.  The setting and plot is engaging, the puzzles are interesting and the fully voiced dialogue is funny and well written.

What I'm trying to say is that this game is a fuckin' classic so just shut up and go play it for crying out loud.  

This game is available for free from Good Old Games (www.gog.com) along with a load of other classic games available for free and for purchase, brilliant website.