Animal rights folk reach all new stupidity levels

I'm not really what you would call a fan of the Pokemon series.  I played Red/Blue and Gold/Silver back on the original Game Boy systems, but after that I pretty much gave up once I discovered better games similar to pokemon like Jade Coccoon or the Shin Megami Tensei series.

But one day, I was surfing the internet and came across this thing, a little flash game created by PETA and quite possibly one of the most retarded things I have ever seen.

First of all, there is in NO WAY Pokemon promotes animal abuse like PETA seems to claim.  I mean first of all they are mere pixels on your Game Boy screen, and second, the game makes a big fucking deal of caring for your pokemon above all else, so all that "learning about dominance" stuff in the opening text is bullshit.

Second, doesn't PETA have something to do OTHER than make shitty flash games for the internet?   I mean I'm no vegetarian but I think Gordon Ramsey proved in his show The F Word that a happy animal is a tasty animal (something to do with a pig he raised, I don't remember), so shouldn't they be trying to work against animal cruelty so I can have a tasty steak instead of a shitty depressed cow steak?

This game is stupid and PETA is quite possibly one of the worst organisations I have the displeasure of knowing about, would it not be possible to have a animal rights group who aren't stupid/crazy?  I'm not going to link the game here because I don't want to give their website traffic, and I suggest you take my word for this game being shit and just not play it, but if you are that curious about it, a simple google search will sort you out.

The Legend of Grimrock Dungeon Editor

Do you remember this game?  Fuck yeah you do!  For anyone who missed the posts I made about this one, it's an awesome dungeon crawler game that has a proper old-school vibe to it, and it's a ton of fun so go buy it right now!

What's even better though, is that the Dungeon Editor has just been released FOR FREE, and it allows us non game designers to have a crack at designing our own dungeons for people to download and have a crack at.  Here is an example of what it looks like

Unfortunately, the "Fuck Yes" dungeon will not be available for play any time soon.  That said, fucking look at this thing, it's incredibly simple to use and navigate and the developers have not really put any limitations on this tool, so you're free to come up with whatever devilish traps and designs you think are best.

On top of this, the Steam Workshop allows you to easily share you creations, and if it ends up being really fucking good, it's a good way to get your adventure noticed.  So what the fuck are you waiting for?! LETS GET CREATIVE!

The Japan Purchases (vlog)

So yeah, don't really need to write anything here since everything I want to say is in the video, so have at it

Castlevania Series Run: Castlevania 2: Belmont's Revenge

God, when I first learned that there was a Castlevania 2 for the gameboy, my heart sank a bit.  If you remember a long time ago, I covered Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest and I thought if this game was anything like that one, I'd be in for a long, boring, slog of a game.

Luckily I was totally wrong and the game is actually quite good, or at least a damn sight better than the first Gameboy Castlevania.  In case anyone was wondering, this game is NOTHING like Castlevania 2 on NES and it's the same side-scrolling goodness that we know and love from classic Casltevania. 

It is basically more of the first game, but the gameplay has been refined so that it's now actually playable instead of being a mess of bad controls and shit level design.  On top of that, they decided to bring back a couple of the sub weapon from the main console games.  That said, not all of them are present, we only get the Holy Water and the Axe, but they are welcome additions and are extremely useful.

The graphics are also a lot better too, gone is Belmont's gammy leg and the enemies look a lot more interesting, and the hit boxes have also been sorted out a bit, so it's a lot easier to tell when you are hitting something and when you are getting hit.

This is not to say that the game is free of bullshit.

Fuck this room

Some rooms near the end of the game are practically impossible to get through without taking a hit or 2 and Dracula, and the boss just before Dracula have some pretty stupid attack patterns that make them more frustrating than actually challenging.

That said, it's a pretty fun game, not as good as the main series games obviously, but at the time it would have been a good little side attraction for on the go vampire hunting.

Castlevania Series Run: The Castlevania Adventure

It's only when one plays the Castlevania series back to back that you notice just how polarising the quality of the games are between entries.  This is a series that has games like Symphony of the Night, which are fucking classics, and then shit like Dracula X (SNES) which is just garbage.  Unfortunately, The Castlevania Adventure is one for the kak pile.

For anyone who isn't familiar with this one, it was the first Gameboy Castlevania game to be released.  It featured 4 levels, no sub weapons and some of the most annoying controls ever.  The controls are especially bad because they feel sticky, and I'm not just talking about the delay between the button being pressed and the whip coming out, it feels way worse than that in that kind of way that's hard to describe unless you play it for youself.  What is especially bad is how there is now way to jump foward unless you are already moving, and given some of the jumps the game expects you to do, this is super annoying.

I don't want to rag on the graphics for this game, especially with it being a gameboy game, but the stance Belmont has while you are not moving just looks strange.

I mean look at it, his back leg looks like it has some kind of disease or something.  But like I said, I'm not going to criticise a game this old for it's lack of anatomical accuracy.

Generally it's not very good, but it's still more fun that Dracula X on the Super Nintendo

Panzer Dragoon Saga Session 5

Another session another section.  A little bit of confusion since I managed to forget how to solve the puzzles for a little while, but we pulled through in the end.  Big bosses, lots of gunship killing and a badass dragon dogfight.  Next time, the PDS equivalent of a sewer level

VIDEOS!

Free Game Friday: Eversion

So while I'm prepping the next hour and a bit of Panzer Dragoon footage, I thought I'd give you another free game so this week I suggest that you go download a little game called Eversion.

This game is a cute little puzzle platformer with a strange twist.  You have to get to the end of the stage, and try to collect all the gems, but in order to do that you must "everse" at certain points.  This makes the terrain around you change and changes the way certain objects behave.  You can just play to beat all the levels but getting all of the gems in every stage nets you a nice little bonus.

If I say anything more than that, I might ruin the experience for you so just take my word for it an go download it.  It's awesome

Also, if you want a little bit more, you can pay for an HD version that is available on Steam, and I think it's pretty cheap,  but for all the gamers on a budget out there, the free version is just as good!

Get it here!
http://zarat.us/tra/offline-games/eversion.html