Tuesday 27 May 2014

Typing of the Dead

It may be extremely weird that one of my favorite PC games of all time happens to be a fucking typing tutor, but this game is AWESOME so whatever.

The thing that most typing tutors have in common is that they are really boring.  They feel like your are taking some kind of fucking course and generally speaking it doesn't make you feel motivated and therefore you don't give a shit about your typing skills.  But then came along this game and changed EVERYTHING you thought you knew about typing tutor software.

In case anyone doesn't know what The House of the Dead is, allow me to take a moment to explain. 

Back when Sega was still doing hardware, House of the Dead 2 was one of the big motherfuckers of the rail shooter genre.  Everyone knew and had put at least one credit into one of these damn machines.  They were absolutely everywhere and it was impossible to walk into a cinema or bowling alley without seeing at least one of these games in the establishment.

The Typing of the Dead is exactly the same game as House of the Dead 2, but instead of a light gun you use your keyboard to murder zombies.  Zombies pop up on the screen with a word on their chest and you have to type it before they gnaw your face off.  Typing quickly is key to getting high scores and typing accurately is key to staying alive and trust me, this game doesn't fuck around.

The first couple of stages are extremely easy but after that they throw all sorts of crap at you like stupidly long sentences or words that you may be unfamiliar with the spelling of and shit like that.  However it's the games bosses where it really starts to shine.  Each boss has it's own gimmick so not only do you have to type quickly and accurately, but you have to overcome a challenge while you do it.

For example, the boss on stage 2 opens and closes it's chest and while it's chest is closed the word is greyed out and you can't type.  If you fail to complete the sentence in 3 short bursts then he shoves his spear right into your slow face.  Stage 3 makes this really difficult by making you answer a quiz while the words fly crazily about the screen.  The boss is a hydra looking thing and each head represents one question answer, so with this guy you can type the word perfectly but getting the question wrong will still result in taking a hit.

If you're bad at typing and you don't think you can handle this high octane typing action then fear not because there is a drill mode that will teach you the correct typing method and has many drills for you to practice so that one day you make tackle the horde of zombies in the story mode.

The Typing of the Dead is kind of old and kind of hard to find and it has a few things that are annoying about it.  For example you can't quit the fucking game, I have to alt tab and close it via the task manager every goddamn time.  But if you don't want to deal with all that archaic bullshit then just pop over to steam and get The Typing of the Dead: Overkill off the store. 

That's right, this typing tutor is so fucking good it got a goddamn SEQUEL.  Get on that shit.

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