The iPhone fucking sucks

I have an iPhone 5s and if it wasn't for the fact I could play Mahjong online for free and a few other games I probably would have broken my contract and ditched it way sooner.  Luckily, I didn't pay for the fucking thing as my 5s was provided for free when we signed up with the phone company.

Except the iPhone is a huge fucking piece of shit and always has been.  They never start that way though, when you first unbox it everything seems pretty good.  It does the messaging and the calling that you want and the app store has a few decent apps on there to keep you entertained during boring train rides or whatever.  It's a convenient piece of kit to have in your pocket and because of its mass popularity there is a lot of stuff and support available for it. 

But mark my words you are going to NEED that support so fucking bad after a year or so of using the damn thing because it will start to break on you for absolutely no fucking reason.  Every single person I've ever known that has owned an iPhone of ANY model has had it fuck up on them big time after a year or so of use.  These problems range from battery issues to buttons that just stop functioning or the thing slowing down for no goddamn reason.

2 days ago I was playing some Summons Board on the train, a monster breeding RPG made by the same people who brought us Puzzle and Dragon except it plays like a simplified Strategy RPG rather than a shitty version of Bejewled.  Anyway, I'm having a grand old time waiting for my stop when suddenly the game locks up and the thing fucking blue screens!  I mean the screen literally turned blue and then the thing fucking reset itself and I lost my progress.  This isn't the first game that its happened to either with certain titles like Mushihime Sama just crashing ALL the fucking time which is depressing because I really like that game.  At least I can go play it in my local arcade for 100 yen a credit...

Games fucking up is the reason I made this post but I've had all sorts of other issues too.  While my battery isn't quite kicking the bucket just yet, there are some days where it will decide it just wants to drop 10% for no goddamn reason.  Not to mention that 5 has become the new 0 which is deceptive and annoying.  Also for some reason every time I try to read a link on twitter it fucking crashes the app so I have to rush to the "open in safari" button just to read anything anymore.  There have even been points where the internet connection will just fucking die and I have to turn the damn thing off and on again to bring it back.

Like I said, everyone I know has had issues like this or worse.  The worst I've ever seen is on my friends phone where the swipe just decided to take an afternoon off.  He could still touch things using that button free interface or whatever the fuck its called by he couldn't open his phone which was a real pain in the ass considering that he was trying to contact his girlfriend a whole goddamn prefecture over.

Bottom line, iPhone fucking sucks.  I'm not all that clued up on the world of phones so I don't know what is a better alternative but I'm sure you can google it, you're a smart reader.

Fuck the iPhone
Fuck Apple
and fuck all these "trendy" wankers that rush out to buy the latest model day one.  Enjoy your paper weight, asshole.

Sonic Runners

I really don't understand how Sonic is still going.  For YEARS they've just been pounding out shit game after shit game and yet there are still legions of fans for this guy.  There are still groups of people who actually get moderately excited for an upcoming Sonic game and considering the quality of these fucking things I have no idea why.

That's when I was surprised when my friend said to me "I've got this really cool new phone game" and when I peered into his screen I saw it was a Sonic title.  At first I just laughed and told him to get out with that crap but the next day I started to get curious so I ended up downloading it.

Sonic Runners is one of those auto running type games.  If you're not sure what I mean by that then it's a kind of game where you character just runs forward and all you have to do is tap/swipe the screen to avoid obstacles.  Quite frankly, the novelty of this genre ran out after a few days with Temple Run and yet I haven't deleted the game off my phone yet.

Game play is very simple; Sonic runs and you tap the screen to jump.  You have to collect rings and gems to build score, kill enemies and save little animals.  It never ends, you just keep going until you die and the longer you play then the harder it gets.  Once you build up enough points you can fight Dr Eggman which will net you some extra rewards.  There is also a story that unfolds as you beat each area but I find myself just skipping through it because I'm pretty sure the scripts to Sonic games are written on the walls by a monkey with the pen jammed up its asshole.

Outside of the running you have to level up your characters so that they get more score or item effects last longer or you can play a little roulette game to get companions.  The companions come in the form of Chao's or remote controlled objects and bestow various effects when equipped.

You can pay for a special currency so that you can continue when you die or buy new companions but the currency is awarded to you slowly as you play for free so they micropayments don't really get in the way of the overall experience.  Also the games doesn't throw constant "BUY THIS SHIT NOW!" messages in your face which is nice because the idea of paying money for an iPhone games makes me want to vomit.

So to conclude, Sonic Runners is actually pretty good and considering that it's totally free its worth a try at the very least.  It's probably the best endless running game I've ever played which isn't saying much but I guess that's one point in it's favor. 

Then again, you could just play one of the originals or Generations and use your phone for better games like Super Monsters Ate My Condo or Mahjong Mobile......just sayin.....