Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Fuck You Evolve

So Evolve came out a few days ago.  I have seen a few people getting really excited for it but after it came out the Steam reviews have been "mixed".  I've not played it and I don't really have any interest to.  Then again, this post isn't about the quality of the game, it's about THIS bullshit.

Holy shit on a stick look at all that fucking DLC.  This isn't a game that has been out for very long either, this shit is DAY ONE!  Hell, in Japan this game isn't even out yet so as far as I'm technically concerned, this is all shit I have to per-purchase or whatever.

So let's address what we are looking at here.  The first two options are essentially fucking useless.  Look at what you get in that Monster Race pack.  A fifth playable monster and two additional hunters.  What Evolve is basically saying is that if you don't drop the extra £20 or whatever (I suck at maths) then the game is just going to lock you out of a bunch of content.  I don't give a flying fuck if you can unlock it later, that's not the point.  The point is that there are putting a fucking pay wall on some of the games features and that's complete bullshit.

According to the internet, the game with all it's DLC costs $130!  I don't know if Steam price it the same way, I'm not arsed to figure it out, but if you do the conversion that's £85!  EIGHTY FUCKING FIVE.  I thought £35 for a new game was a little steep but £80+?!  Fuck that shit

Now here's where I imagine some tosspot will chime in and say something like "well yeah but it's only cosmetic skins that don't change the game" to which I tell you to go fuck yourself.  Back in MY day we didn't have  to pay for alternate costumes and shit, they were all in the game and you unlocked them by doing certain things within the game.  Why the fuck should I have to pay for fucking cosmetics?  Why the fuck should anyone have  to pay for ANYTHING after the initial purchase?!

I get what DLC was supposed to be.  It was SUPPOSED to be extra modes/levels/characters etc that you downloaded some period of time after the game was released.  While there are some games that may do that, the majority of DLC I see is fucking bullshit that would have been core content 10 years ago.

Fuck DLC
Fuck Evolve and its shitty pricing
Fuck anyone who buys this crap

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