Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Losing Hope for Final Fantasy 7 Remake

I was going to make this little rant post the day that the trailer hit but I'm glad I held off because the bullshit got worse in the small span of time I waited in order to write this post.  Before I go on I just want to clarify that I desperately want this game to not suck, I want it to be good but all the evidence that is being given to me right now is pointing to this remake being full of shit and betrayal.

So first let me post the trailer so you can watch it if you haven't seen it already

Looks pretty exciting right?  I mean the good thing is that the visuals are awesome and it's kind of nice too see all the old Duplo charactes from the PS1 game finally being brought to live with a more realistic look.  I only really have one complaint about the  game visually and that's the choice that they made for Barret.  At what point in time between them finishing the adventure on PS1 and restarting it on PS4 did he decide to become a hard core Wesley Snipes impersonator?   While it's kind of dumb looking like Wesley Snipes isn't exactly a bad thing so that's nothing more than a minor nitpick.

But there are 2 big things in this trailer that throw up red lights.

The first one is the combat that is shown.  No longer do we have the ATB fights from the original and instead we are given this weird Kingdom Hearts-esque combat that's entirely in real time.  Now I'm not some kind of prick who thinks that there's something inherently wrong with real time battles but in FF7 I can see the new combat system making a lot of fights piss easy.  No longer will you have to carefully manage materia, equipment and limit gauges in order to overcome your foes.  No, you'll just be able to fucking dodge everything in real time (I bet there will be some kind of rolling feature) and all the enemies will have either stupid telegraphs that make it easy to predict whats coming or undodgeable screen filling bullshit.  I'm sure they'll change the combat to make the already existing fights more challenging but generally speaking action RPGs are piss easy and I'm sure there are plenty of fans that are sad that the old ATB system that they knew and loved has now gone.

The other part of the trailer that set my alarm bells off is right before they start showcasing the combat.  Cloud is surrounded by a bunch of guards on a road above some train tracks in the middle of Midgar.  Now, if you'll recall back to the original game you can choose to either fight them or run away and after 3 fights or so cloud hears a train horn and makes his escape by jumping on the top of the train.  

Now, in the trailer for the remake something weird happens.  Cloud winces and the screen gets covered in some light static and he starts to run for the train tracks.  I KNOW this isn't the way the game transitions into combat because the first fight they show is from a completely unrelated bit of Midgar and it does eventually cut to the part on the bridge, also the combat in this section is already done with when cloud makes his escape.  So what's the big fuckin' deal?  Well this small detail points to one possibility and that's that they are changing the story which to me would be unforgivable.  I don't mind them making small dialogue changes here and there but the overall plot has to stay the same otherwise this remake is going to become a giant piece of betrayal.  FF7s plot may be a little bit silly and nonsensical in some places but that's what makes it FF7 you can't just go changing it now after all these years all willy nilly without upsetting a lot of people.

There are other things to nitpick at too such as the fucking TERRIBLE English voice work.  I've not looked to see if there's a version of this trailer with Japanese voices but the English voice actors really sound like they are phoning it in.  Also the exploration game play that they show is a little uncomfortably close to Final Fantasy 13 but I  think that's just the nature of the area rather than being an indication of the game as a whole.

But here's the reason I'm glad I waited a day before writing


What the actual fuck, go and fuck yourself Square-Enix.  Multi-part games are bullshit on their own but there is NO FUCKING WAY this should be in multiple entries.  I don't give a flying fuck what the reason is, just release it as a whole, complete game.  When I buy an RPG, especially one that's a remake of a PS1 game from 199 fucking 7 I don't expect to have to wait months between key moments in the story.  The original was technically speaking in "parts", as in there were 3 discs and those disc changes came at key moments in the story but at least all 3 discs were packed in the fucking box upon purchasing the game.

This is just a cheap, shitty way to milk the fan base for as much money as humanly possible.  Of COURSE the hardcore fans are going to buy every single fucking part because it's a PS4 remake of their favourite PS1 game, it's guaranteed profit from people who have been waiting for this shit since that really old PS3 tech demo where they showed the opening in "next gen" graphics.

This would be like someone selling me the PS1 version for like £20 but only giving me the first disc and then making me wait a few months and charge me ANOTHER £20 for the next disc.  This isn't going to be some budget game with parts that cost £10 or less, I can almost guarantee that each part is going to be full game price and if it doesn't turn out that way I'll gladly let someone punch me in the face for falsely accusing Square Enix of being money grubbing little cunts.

Well whatever, I have no doubt in my mind that at the very least the Final Fantasy 7 remake will be a good game.  The only problem is that it will be so drastically different from the game we played back in the day that I'll be left unimpressed and pissed off.  I don't want to play Final Fantasy 7: Kingdom Hearts Combat Edition, I want to play fucking Final Fantasy 7 with fancy new graphics.  If you're going to go to all this length to make what is essentially a new fucking game, then just make a new fucking game.

Let's just give it some time and maybe things will get better but OH BOY I FUCKING DOUBT IT

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