Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Super Mario Run Is Dumb

This game isn't even available to me just yet on the Japanese app store but it's already disappointing.  You could argue that I shouldn't be chatting shit about a game I've not even played yet but I'd argue that I played Temple Runner and Sonic Runners and every game in this genre is essentially the same goddamn thing.

Anyway, in case you're not familiar with these type of games, a "running" game is a genre that's pretty popular on mobile platforms.  The idea is that your character will just run forward through the stage without stopping and it's up to you to tap or swipe the screen in order to make them avoid obstacles and not die.  There are usually items for you to collect in order to boost your score and other items that you can buy or find in order to facilitate longer running times.  After that it's just a case of seeing how many points you can get.  Sonic Runners tried to incorporate a story where running a certain distance would progress a plot but at the end of the day it's all the same shit.

Now Super Mario Run looks, from the screen shots, exactly like that.  The game isn't going to be crap per se but it is going to be another forgettable running game.  The kind of game that you'll download, play for about a week and then delete in order to make space for a different stupid weekly top pic game off the store.

It's disappointing that Nintendo have resorted to this and not because it's suddenly Mario on an iPhone but because they just went for a dime a dozen running game.  Nintendo are famous for always trying something new, weather it's successfully with the Wii or the DS or unsuccessfully with the WiiU, the point is the are pretty much always trying new things.  So it's sad to see that the debut game on the iOS is just a running game.  Like I said, I can't get it right now so what's the fucking point?  It's not like I'm going to get excited for a game like this and if I REALLY wanted to play a game exactly like it I could just go and download one of the THOUSANDS of these games available on the store.

What's even more disappointing is that back when Iwata was alive he said that this would never happen, that Nintendo wouldn't just sell out their shit for fast profit.  He DID once talk about how Nintendo had plans to use smart phones as a platform to attract users to the main line Nintendo systems and the piece of software that came from THAT plan was Miitomo.  If Iwata saw THIS shit floating around the app store he would be rolling in his grave.

This is like watching a loved one get sick, deteriorate rapidly and start to die right in front of your eyes, it's just sad.

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