Saturday, 6 August 2016

Bloodbath Kavkaz

Good lord what the hell is this game?  If you go on Steam and have a look at the store page you may be led into believing that this is some kind of Hotline Miami clone and while you'd be right from a game play perspective the content of this game is so unhinged that it feels like it was created during some kind of acid trip.

Developed and published by Dagestan Technology and released on Steam in 2015, Bloodbath Kavkaz is essentially a Hotline Miami clone of the most shameless variety.  You play from a top down perspective and control aiming with the mouse as you shoot your way through a bunch of retro looking levels.  The difference between this and Hotline, at least on a surface level is that while in Hotline EVERYTHING is sprites, the enemies and characters in this game either look like they were drawn in MS Paint or they have weirdly realistic faces as if someone took a photo of their corner shop owner and slapped it on every bad guy.

Where the game starts to differ though is in the story.  I would love to tell you what the story is but it's so fucking insane and the translation so badly done that I can't even really describe it.  You start the game being told that you need to go and kill a guy called Jafar and then from their you embark on acid trips and take orders from sentient pineapples and all sorts of other weirdness.  I imagine during development they just locked the writer in a closet with a large pile of hard drugs and told him that he wasn't allowed to leave until A) He'd written the entire game and B) taken all the drugs

While the game has certain points of being so bad that it's funny, for the most part Bloodbath Kavkaz is painful to play.  The collision on levels is atrocious, hit detection can be strange the sound and music design assaults your senses and sort of leaves you dazed and upset when you finish a session.  Occasionally a level will just break and become unbeatable but on the other hand I had one occasion where my death resulted in a level clear and took me to the results screen so it seems as if the game doesn't even understand its own rules.

Bloodbath Kavkaz also has some DLC called Khovan Revenge but I've heard it's short and doesn't have any English text.  Although while Kavkaz has a "mixed" rating on Steam while Khovan Revenge has a "mostly positive" so either people are trolling hard or they actually made the follow up game a little better.

Either way, there are plenty of short, cheap, not shit games you could get your hands on without wasting your time with this tripe.  I don't even remember how I came to own this game but you could do yourself a favor by keeping it out of your library.

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