Super Mario 3D All Stars Can Piss Right Off

 

Since I know how much Nintendo fans will froth at the mouth at the sight of anyone badmouthing their fat, mushroom addicted mascot allow me to start with a clarifying statement.  I like all these games.  Mario 64, despite it's wonky camera is still a ton of fun to play, I've always loved Sunshine despite what everyone else says about it and playing Galaxy the day it came out is still a fond memory of mine from my university days.  The games included in this collection are not the problem.

Ironically, despite the title saying that 3D All Stars can piss off, it's the pissing off which is the problem.  When Nintendo announced this collection of 3D Mario classics for the Switch they also dropped the fact that this game comes with a time limited purchase window.  It is scheduled for a September 18th release date but then it is only available until March 2021.  By that, I don't mean it's a limited run release and you you can only get a physical copy until March 2021, I mean it's vanishing from store shelves AND from the online store in March.

I cannot for the life of me imagine why this would be the case and quite frankly it is one of the dumbest decisions I've ever seen for a game in my entire life.

The first problem that this is going to cause is that scalpers are going to be just scooping up physical copies like crazy and selling them at inflated prices.  Hell, it's not "going" to cause, it already has caused scalpers to start going nuts.  Just google "3D All Stars Scalpers" and the top results are stories of people pre ordering copies of the game for $60 and selling THE. PRE. ORDER for anything between $90 to $120.  It's a disgusting practice that takes advantage of people who aren't fast or tech savvy enough and anyone who participates in scalping deserves a big fat slap

The other problem, the one that scares me a little more than scalpers, is the message that this release is going to send out to other companies and will maybe inspire them to do the same thing.  Companies are going to realize that by doing something like this they can force consumers to pay top dollar for their games in and around launch and the people who can't afford or like to wait are going to get completely screwed.  If you're lacking in money, especially in the current corona ravaged climate and you need to prioritize things like food or family expenses, well you better get your sorry ass on your feet because whatever game you were excited for might just vanish from existence if you're not fast enough.  Do you have a massive backlog and want to hold off buying games?  Do you like to wait for a sale so that you can save what little money you have? Are you the kind of person who likes to finish the current game before buying the next one and that playthrough of the Witcher 3 you're doing right now is taking YEARS because you don't have that much time?

Well fuck all of you, either get the game in 12-16 months or deal with it you stupid nerd.  Obvious sarcasm but that's what this feels like

This is the exact reason I hate brands like Supreme.  There's no reason Supreme cant just make more products to meet the demand but they want to keep this image of "exclusivity" and "rarity" so they under-produce and that's why you get droves of twats lining up outside these stores to snap up whatever gaudy bullshit is on sale that week.  That's pretty much what Nintendo is doing with Mario, get in fast or get fucked.

I'm hoping, and the more likely outcome, is that every game suddenly having a limited release window will not happen and this bullshit will only be limited to this stupid little collection title.