Thursday, 4 April 2013

Confusion is the worst

So I've been playing quite a lot of a game called Grandia on the PS1 recently.  It's pretty fucking good and made me realise that I didn't lose interest in RPGs but modern RPGs just became a bit shit. 

Anyway! Before that statement causes some kind of shit storm as I get people trying to tell me stuff like Ni no Kuni is actually worth a damn, I want to talk about one of the most annoying things in any RPG that can possibly happen.  That thing is the confuse status effect.

RPGs tend to have lots of status ailments that do a pretty good job of fucking you over if you're not prepared but confuse really does just take the fucking cake.  For those of you who maybe aren't into RPGs, confuse is a status that causes your own party members to just attack characters at random.  If you are lucky they will go and attack the enemy and all is fine, but if you're like me and you're not lucky then chances are your party member is going to flat out murder another team mate.

It's just so fucking annoying when your strongest physical attacker gets confused and then spins round and decides to shove whatever weapon he or she is holding right up the arse of your spell caster or healer.  The outright worst offender for annoying confusion ailments though, in my experience, is the Pokemon games.

I've not played any of the later Pokemon games because I think they are a load of shit, but I remember quite early into Pokemon Blue there was a cave full of Zubats.  Zubats had a skill that could confuse your pokemon, and when that happened shit would really get ugly.  You see in normal RPGs, there is a team of people, so confuse makes one dude hit his friend, but in Pokemon its 1on1 battles so being confused makes your pokemon hit himself.  Not only is this fucking stupid as a concept but the damage for hitting yourself in confusion is fucking massive, and if you are really unlucky your pokemon will keep punching himself in the face until he dies.

Still, for all my ranting about how much I hate confusion effects, if they weren't there I'd be complaining about RPGs being too easy or some shit.  Also this post does not apply to the Shin Megami Tensei series, because in those games, the lead character being petrified results in a game over, so in those games THAT can go fuck itself just as hard.

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